It’s almost 2 a.m. Thursday morning. I should be in bed since I have to be up at 6 a.m. to get ready for work.
I just finished watching some FBI Files DVDs and am now lying on the couch contemplating my life.
My passion for work has continuously diminished for the last several weeks. I’m working in a dead-end administrative support specialist position, which is just a fancy way of saying that I’m a receptionist. I’ve been applying to jobs left and right, mainly writing and library technician positions. The longer I stay at my job the more I feel like I’m going to be nothing more than an errand boy. It’s gotten so bad to the point where I wake up some mornings with a sense of heaviness just knowing that I have to go into a job I hate (I do love my coworkers).
On top of all this, my wife and I are experiencing major car issues. Her car has been out of action for nearly three months. Her repairs are going to cost somewhere in the neighborhood of $3,000 which is money that we don’t have. She has been driving my car, a 2009 Nissan Sentra, for the most part ever since. I got my old car, a 1990 Honda Accord, fixed so that we could both have a vehicle, but that car is now out of commission. It’s suffering from severe cooling and head gasket issues and I refuse to put any more money into such a 25 year old car. It’s a miracle that I even made it home safely yesterday.
Life has become so routine. Go to work, come home, eat, watch television, go to church, pay bills, rinse and repeat. Things would at least be a little better if I had a job where I felt like I was utilizing my true gifts and talents. I feel that life is passing me by as those around me are progressing.
As I type this I’m thinking that something has to give. Things must get better in terms of my employment and my family’s vehicle and financial situation.